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What Is Secure Attachment? - Secure
attachment is a natural, lifelong process during which an individual develops responsive relationships. For an infant or child,
these relationships make it possible for the basic needs of safety, closeness, and care to be met by being physically, emotionally,
and psychologically trusting of another person. - Secure attachment gives a child a deep sense that the
primary caregiver, usually a parent, is reliable, nurturing, and a wise source of guidance while providing loving discipline.
This kind of attachment is formed by an intricate, delicately balanced integration of cognitive, emotional, physical, and
neurological information gained by the infant during interactions with significant people and the environment. -
For adults, secure attachment is a person’s ability to commit to a relationship with another adult in a meaningful and
intimate way. Securely attached relationships form the basis for confident, competent functioning in all areas of life. - What Is Problematic
Attachment? - People with problematic attachment have difficulty trusting others and frequently feel
compelled to control situations. Sometimes problematic attachment patterns are seen in children who have posttraumatic stress
symptoms. Problematically attached people can resort to controlling others even to the point of creating dangerous situations.
This desire to control is driven by: Inability
to explore situations with confidence Inability
to be soothed or comforted Fear of closeness,
commitment, or intimacy Discomfort with
or tendency to dismiss feelings Feelings
of inadequacy or powerlessness Fear
of being unloved or rejected Sense of
loneliness and alienation Stormy and/or
distant relationships
What Creates Problematic Attachment? - Attachment problems may develop as a result
of the following risk factors: Premature
or difficult birth Early bonding interruption
(includes prenatal) Multiple placements/adoption
Separations, hospitalizations/institutionalizations
Abuse, neglect, sexual trauma Painful/chronic medical conditions or intrusive interventions Chaotic family situations/domestic violence Lack of nurturing and love, especially in the first 5 years of life Tragic parental loss/abandonment Inconsistent parental nurturing due to mental illness Substance abuse Interruption in parent contact due to divorce, military assignments or parent work schedules, incarceration,
etc. Parent-child role reversal Problems with parental ability to respond to child attachment/exploration needs
Serious/Severe Symptoms of Problematic Attachment - Depending on the person, some of the following behaviors
might be observed in people with attachment problems: Pervasive problem expressing attachment needs Frequent difficulty exploring the environment Superficially charming/manipulative behavior Inability to give and receive affection in a genuine way Indiscriminate friendliness to strangers Extreme separation anxiety, inappropriate demands, or clinginess Unexplainable fearfulness or wariness Nightmares, dissociation, and/or posttraumatic stress symptoms Poor mood regulation (i.e., severe moodiness) Hypervigilance or inability to express emotions Hostility towards or disinterest in parents, family members, or loved ones Destructiveness to self, others, animals, and/or property Extreme defiance and/or power-struggles Poor school performance Persistent nonsense conversations or refusal to converse Chronic lying/stealing Preoccupation with blood, fire, gore Lack of conscience or remorse
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Attachment
and Bonding Parenting Books - Chamberlain,
David. The Mind of Your Newborn Baby. North Atlantic Books, Berkeley, CA, 1998. - Granju,
Katie Allison. Attachment Parenting. Pocket Books, New York, 1999. - Hendrix, Harville,
and Helen Hunt. Giving the Love That Heals. Pocket Books, New York, 1997. - Klaus,
Marshall, and Phyllis Klaus. Your Amazing Newborn. Perseus Books, Reading, MA, 1998. - Klaus, Marshall, John Kennell, and Phyllis Klaus. Bonding. Addison-Wesley Publishing Co. Inc., New York, 1995. - LeBoyer, Frederick. Birth Without Violence. Healing Arts Press, Rochester, VT, 1995. - McCutcheon, Susan. Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way. Penguin Books, New York, 1996. - McKenna, James J., Babies Need Their Mothers Beside Them. World Health (the journal of the World Health Organization), March–April 1996. - Sears, William. Nighttime Parenting. La Leche League International, Franklin Park, IL, 1987. - Sears, William and Martha. The Baby Book. Little, Brown, and Company, New York, 1999. - Thevenin, Tine. The Family Bed. Avery Publishing Group, Inc., Wayne New Jersey, 1987. - Walant, Karen. Creating the Capacity for Attachment: Treating Addictions and the Alienated
Self. Jason Aronson Publishing, 1995. - Attachment
Disorder Books - Alexander, Christopher J., Welcome Home.
Albuquerque: Mountain West.
ISBN: 0-9754144-0-2 - Brodzinsky, David M., Schechter, Marshall,
and Henig, Robin Marantz, Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self - Cline, Foster & Fey, James, Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility.
Pinon Press, Colorado Springs, CO. 1990. ISBN: 0891093117 - Comer, James P. & Poussaint, Alvin F., Raising Black Children: Two Leading Psychiatrists Confront the Educational,
Social, and Emotional Problems Facing Black Children. Plume Books, 1992. ISBN: 0452268397 - Eldridge, Sherrie, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish their Adoptive Parents Knew. Dell Publishing,
1999. ISBN: 0-440-50838-X - Greenspan, Stanley & Greenspan, Nancy Thorndike,
First Feelings: Milestones in the Emotional Development of Your Baby and Child. Penguin Books, 1994. ISBN: 0140119884 - Hughes, Daniel A., Building the Bonds of Attachment. Jason Aronson, Inc.
NY, NJ, 1998. ISBN: 0-7657-0168-5 - Keck, Gregory
& Kupecky, Regina, Parenting the Hurt Child. Pinon Press, Colorado Springs, CO. 1995, 1998. - Levy, Terry & Orlans, Michael, Attachment, Trauma, and Healing. CWLA Press,
Washington, DC, 1998. ISBN: 0-87868-709-2 - Watkins, Mary,
Ph.D. & Fisher, Susan M., M.D., Talking with Young Children about Adoption. Yale University Press, 1993 ISBN
05178-6 - Links - Bonding - Adoption/Mental Health Information topics/cmh/childreport.htm - Attachment Disorder Links http: - Private Organizations - Adoption - Foster Care pubsinfo2825/pubsinfo.htm?doc_id=209538 home_family/foster_families.html
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